This Just In: News that Stays News
Washington—In the wake of the NSA domestic spying fiasco, Republicans in Congress are preparing new legislation that not only would make what the President authorized the NSA to do legal, but would also make anything the president cooks up in the future legal.
“There are so many laws,” said White House Spokesman Scott McClellan. “This law says you can’t spy on U.S. citizens; that law says you can’t detain people without counsel. Another law says you can’t torture prisoners. Still another says you can’t sell political favors to make millions of dollars. The White House staff would be up all night trying to keep up with them. We want to get on with the business of governing the nation. This bill will make that possible.”
Democratic senators announced that they would make a feeble attempt to block the law should it reach the floor for a vote. “We’ll let Ted Kennedy make a few scalding speeches, then we’ll check the polls and decide where to go from there,” said a tentatively fired-up Richard Durbin.